HELP - How Do You Cope?

[alphamale]

My opinion:

1) If you are the provider for your family, you gotta make sure your family is taken care of in the event that something happens (enough said about that)

2) We all weigh the risks and the rewards every time we go to the track. I make a personal judgment call every time I think about racing or riding. While racing/riding a motorcycle may not be the "safest" thing on the planet, you have to think about balance and quality of life. My wife despises the winter (when I'm not riding) because I am like a fish out of water. She loves to see me happy, and I am the happiest during and after a fun weekend at the track.

3) Introduce your wife/girlfriend/mother etc to some folks that have spent years around the track. You'll find if you get them to come to the track, they will make friends and those conversations will take place. My wife has given her perspective on numerous occasions.

In the end, death is inevitable, but you have to enjoy the ride for as long as life will allow.

Besides all that, I found this article as some food for thought:


http://stage.cycleworld.com/article.asp?section_id=3&article_id=337&page_number=1

 

[alphamale]

Bubba Zanetti;122161 wrote: Moto:

I like what you said abot the "objective being 'fun' or 'winning'.

I do track days for the fun of it. I'm in b group and slow becasue I have a family. I've passed up making passes I could have made because I'd be running risk that just isn't worth it in the end.

I'll put this whole track day thing in perspective. Someday, when we are all on our death beds. I guarantee you all the last thing we will be yelling out is "I was the fastest track day rider with NESBA in 2010"!

BZ

I don't know, I gotta disagree. I'd rather be the fast guy that the idiots can't catch! :dunno:

 

[NoBull]

My Mom doesn't like me riding the track - we mostly don't talk about it although she's been to a couple of trackdays over the years.

My ex (not ex due to trackdays) didn't like me going to the track, but a) it was better than the street and b) I got a large life insurance policy. Between the 2 of them it "satisfied" her enough to not put down a veto. We've had arguments over the years about the safety. Mostly after I've had a crash although none have been super serious. I've always brought up how you can die sitting in your living room and life is too short not to do what you love. I just happen to love track riding.

As said before, it's a very personal decission that only you and your wife can make.

 

[Sklossmonster]

Top shelf disability insurance is key, and of course maximal life insurance/health insurance, etc. BUT MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO EXCLUSIONS.

Once you're squared away in terms of providing for your loved ones if the worst case scenario unfolds, I would ask your wife if she thinks you shouldn't:

Snow Ski
Water Ski
Ride your bicycle on public roads
Go on a boat farther out than you can swim back in the event of an emergency
Adjust the stereo while driving your car, hell, drive in your car for any reason other than to provide for the family
Go hiking
Take a plane trip for anything other than business
Stand on a busy street corner
etc., etc, etc.

My point is that most risks are acceptable to the public because they are familiar. The hospitals are full of critically injured people, but how many of them were at a trackday?

If you break your leg crashing your motorcycle, you're "an idiot" taking dangerous risks unecessarily, but if you break your leg sno skiing, "where were you? Whistler? Keystone?" All of a sudden it's okay, because there's no social stigma associated with skiing.

Street riding is far more dangerous than track riding in terms of actual death and disability. Track riders crash often, but are rarely hurt. Street riders rarely crash, but are usually seriously injured or killed.

Manage the risks in the best way you know how, but don't think that not riding on the track means you won't be seriously injured or killed before your time.

 

[MB3]

Sklossmonster;122178 wrote: Top shelf disability insurance is key, and of course maximal life insurance/health insurance, etc. BUT MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO EXCLUSIONS.

Once you're squared away in terms of providing for your loved ones if the worst case scenario unfolds, I would ask your wife if she thinks you shouldn't:

Snow Ski
Water Ski
Ride your bicycle on public roads
Go on a boat farther out than you can swim back in the event of an emergency
Adjust the stereo while driving your car, hell, drive in your car for any reason other than to provide for the family
Go hiking
Take a plane trip for anything other than business
Stand on a busy street corner
etc., etc, etc.

My point is that most risks are acceptable to the public because they are familiar. The hospitals are full of critically injured people, but how many of them were at a trackday?

If you break your leg crashing your motorcycle, you're "an idiot" taking dangerous risks unecessarily, but if you break your leg sno skiing, "where were you? Whistler? Keystone?" All of a sudden it's okay, because there's no social stigma associated with skiing.

Street riding is far more dangerous than track riding in terms of actual death and disability. Track riders crash often, but are rarely hurt. Street riders rarely crash, but are usually seriously injured or killed.

Manage the risks in the best way you know how, but don't think that not riding on the track means you won't be seriously injured or killed before your time.

Excellent points! Thank you.

 

[alphamale]

Sklossmonster;122178 wrote:

If you break your leg crashing your motorcycle, you're "an idiot" taking dangerous risks unecessarily, but if you break your leg sno skiing, "where were you? Whistler? Keystone?" All of a sudden it's okay, because there's no social stigma associated with skiing.

Excellent point. Unfortunately there are too many people that have an uncle or a high school classmate that was killed on a motorcycle on the street after they just bought a brand new GSXR 1000. Pretty hard to change the stigma associated with our sport, but you got to start somewhere.

 

[rk97]

Bubba Zanetti;122161 wrote: I'm in b group and slow becasue I have a family.

does my dog count as having a family? i wanna be able to use this excuse too!

 

[stephenjpauls]

As usual I agree with Marshall's logic... unfortunately logic applied or not, an unhappy wife can be very miserable to be around… and she may not agree with Marshall’s logic.

MB3;122159 wrote: She has yet to lay down the ultimatum becasuse she knows if she does that I will resent her for it.

A key thing with your statement is the flipside… is she going to resent you if you don’t quit? There are a ton of good ideas on here that present you with opportunities to help your wife understand... I think a trip to the track really helps. My wife didn't have a huge issue, but my folks did. After they came out to see me a few times, it helped them understand. Even on a day when I crashed with them there.

Cheers,
Steve

 

[mlmoore]

Lots of good points. Basically it all comes down to managing risk and relationships.

Take your wife to the track. She may love it or hate it but she should understand better.

I went through the same thing in 1982 when I was racing and broke a collarbone(again). My wife didn't want me racing (no trackdays back then) since we were planning our family. I went along at the time and got completely out of Motorcycles for 25 years (with minor exceptions). Couldn't stand to even watch races since I missed it so much.

Fast forward 25 years and I heard about trackdays. A few conversations and Kathy (same wonderful wife ;-) was the one who encouraged me to buy a bike and start doing track days even thought she is now partially disabled with MS. I've had some wonderful days with NESBA over the past few years.

So even if you have to give it up for now you can go back when the Kids are grown up. 57 is not that old

 

[noobinacan]

Interesting thread...this one.
By the way...who are you all using for disability insurance ?
does it cover emergency room costs ?

 

[Hitman954]

go for the big D, but before you do get as many credit cards as you can in her name. Max them out on some good leathers, boots, gloves....and what nots. Get a new bike and put a big sticker on it. MY EX PAID FOR THIS. Just kidding. Do what you gotta do, cause no mater what you do if it aint her choice its wrong. :saythat:

 

[vinny337]

Landshark;122147 wrote: Without my wife's' support our relationship would not survive. The day our kids look at me with teary eyes and ask m to stop I'm done.
Don't kid yourself. You need to take care of your home life or it will impact your track time to where even though you go you can't enjoy it like you once did.
There will always be a track day of some sort and it won't care that you left for a little while.

Good luck hope it works out.

:agree: with Troy family first...Try to involve her, if she's not receptive, unfortunately you have to make a decision that may not benefit you...

 

[Bubba Zanetti]

rk97;122192 wrote: does my dog count as having a family? i wanna be able to use this excuse too!

Hey brother use what you need.

I also need to add my lines are inconsistant and I generally suck. So that doesn't help either LOL! My family doesn't dictate my lack of skill.

I should have just stated 'fun' is what drives me to do track days. I have nothing to prove except my own little goals and don't care who's faster or slower than me; just are we having fun?

BZ

 

[LesPow]

1) Life Ins. and disability Ins.
2) Take them on a Vacation every year.

 

[D-Zum]

Last year my uncle and his friend were coming back from a fishing trip. His friend was driving. Next thing he knows his friend's slumped over the wheel. He had a heart attack and died at the wheel. This is on a two-way, two lane highway in North Dakota. They're headed into oncoming traffic. Despite my uncle's efforts to reach over, grab the wheel and avoid it, they hit an oncoming mini-van. Both driver and passenger in the van died. They were an elderly migratory couple that spent winters in Arizona and migrated home to North Dakota in the summers.

My uncle was the only survivor. Seven broken ribs, broken wrist, shattered pelvis and a dislocated hip were the sum total from the accident for him.

Fishing's about as harmless as it can get unless you're a fish..then it's potentially fatal.

Riding a motorcycle carries risk. We all know it. But what we do is take it to a closed environment where the risk variables are mitigated. Corners have gravel traps and runoff room with Corner Workers at every corner. Ambulances are on site for immediate response. Nobody is on the course talking on their cell phone, putting on makeup, reading the paper, etc. There's no gravel on the pavement that will surprise you because they usually run a sweeper over the track every morning. There are no guardrails along the track.

In a motorcycle incident it's not the crash that usually causes serious injury, it's what you hit. Potential energy becoming Kinetic engergy in milliseconds wreaks havoc on flesh and bone.

My Mom knows what I do..she co-signed on my first bike in 1989 and hated every second of that signature....but she's told me she's extremely happy that I only ride the track now.

(I did go out this last Sunday on my R6...and I can tell you it scared the HELL out of me to be on a public road at certain points of my outing).

I don't mean this as an insult to your wife...but she just does not understand the whole picture. And maybe she never will. But many of us do this because we love to ride, but we also understand that if we continued to ride on public roads we'd be in more danger than we could ever encounter in a more controlled environment like a track day.

My son will be born in a month or so. He'll start on a CRF50 as soon as his training wheels come off. He'll do his first NESBA day as soon as he's 16 if he wants to join me in the early summer of 2026.

I thank God every day for people like Garth, Dutch, Bob Blandford and Brian Johnson for starting NESBA. They saved a LOT of lives by starting NESBA in 1996.


(getting off soap box now)

 

[BryanS_1]

vinny337;122256 wrote: ...family first...

To me, this is the only message you need. The track, your bike, and any other hobby don't even come a close second.

 

[twin ty]

Communication to your significant other is one of the most important things that I have found to help in the matter. Maybe let her read this thread is an idea.

[I thank God every day for people like Garth, Dutch, Bob Blandford and Brian Johnson for starting NESBA. They saved a LOT of lives by starting NESBA in 1996.]

:agree:

When I rode on the street I made a lot of bad decisions. Thankfully none with any long term consequences. Speeds above 150 and tricks were the norm. If had not removed myself from that atmosphere surely I would not be here today. Too bad I didn't get to the track 10 years ago, might of had a little speed by now .

 

[binx_19]

no more crashing would be the best option.

 

[johnyisthedevil]

funny as it sounds, crashing at the track made it all smooth as butter for me. It was taboo and total panic because it was the track. and she rides. two sessions of panic went by and then one nice and easy lowside. a little damage to the bike, some scuffs on the leathers and a ride on the crash truck later and she was fine with it all. once she saw that a crash wasn't guaranteed death as was peachy and she thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the day.


on a side note a man denied his passions is a man that seeks others out. riding is my passion and my therapy. I need it to stay sane, my old lady understood this from the beginning and as long as I take care of the things I need to we're cool. in short take care of your sh*t, but take care of your needs too. It's a mans nature to want to do dangerous things. we don't wrestle bears to provide for the family any more so there is an inherent need to satiate the inner neanderthal. we choose to do it on a bike, others choose other women, or fighting or drinking or . . . you get the jest. there are much worse things you could be doing.

 

[NickMcCoy]

This thread solidifies my plan of never getting married.