It's been a couple of weeks now and the crash I caused had been on my mind more often then I'd like. Honestly the entire weekend was a series of drama, bad judgment calls and in the end an epic fail for what a track day should be. Upon entering the forum I found I was already on youtube.com and the hot topic of how to be an asshole while disobeying (intentionally or not) rules and making illegal passes. I was angry as shit for someone having made a very similar type pass on me the very same weekend. While nothing I can say will make it go away and no action I can take will undo what I did I do have a huge apology on my chest to my fellow riders and acquaintances if you will.
I tried to be of help that day. I wanted badly to succeed and continue on a path of progression with my riding. Having the liter bike is not really my choice but due to circumstances I am stuck paying for it and I want to ride so I use what I have. I feel like the biggest hurdle for me now is coming back out there and finding the right niche. I am generally a social person and the kind of person that would give the shirt off my back to help a total stranger out. As it stands I returned from that weekend having lost a few friends I really didn't want to lose and I made life pretty difficult for me. I enjoy coming to the track and hanging out with everyone that shares in love of bikes and track riding. I have no desire to return to a wall of glaring eyeballs to add to what can already be a stressful time. Yeah getting out there and learning is one thing but wanting to get better adds a pressure that I have a hard time explaining.
While I have made my apologies, at least to Paul, the other rider I still don't know who that is but all the same I'd like to apologize to him/her as well. Additionally I would like to apologize to Barry and the other CR's for simply failing to hear them out. I was actually pretty angry, mainly about what what happened but also just generally pissed that it all came down on me. Now I know Paul has made his peace with me and well the others from the weekend I probably won't ever change their opinion but what comes next for me is the mystery.
How does one come back in face of all this and do it right? I mean I'm a Marine, I've dealt with fear and overcome obsticles but what I don't want is for this to junk up my brain to the point I can't enjoy the experience. We pay hard earned money to do these track days and to have the machines we do. While I know I cant make it all right in a forum what exactly makes the proper entrance upon having this type of incident? I mean I was one of many red flags and even violators during the day. Do I show up and go straight to the NESBA trailer and get the violator t shirt? I mean honestly I just want to get back out there an ride under the rules and get the kind of experience I had before this happened. What I'm getting at here is I made the mistake, I've paid some dues but what of coming back and how does this get handled. I'm certain I ask this question for myself but thought perhaps there is someone else who's had a similar issue and chose not to. I'd rather just ask.. Where do I go from here?
If the answer is a PM I understand but the premise for asking is to better air and understand the way with this sorta thing should be dealt with.
So NESBA what comes next? :haha: :doh:
I tried to be of help that day. I wanted badly to succeed and continue on a path of progression with my riding. Having the liter bike is not really my choice but due to circumstances I am stuck paying for it and I want to ride so I use what I have. I feel like the biggest hurdle for me now is coming back out there and finding the right niche. I am generally a social person and the kind of person that would give the shirt off my back to help a total stranger out. As it stands I returned from that weekend having lost a few friends I really didn't want to lose and I made life pretty difficult for me. I enjoy coming to the track and hanging out with everyone that shares in love of bikes and track riding. I have no desire to return to a wall of glaring eyeballs to add to what can already be a stressful time. Yeah getting out there and learning is one thing but wanting to get better adds a pressure that I have a hard time explaining.
While I have made my apologies, at least to Paul, the other rider I still don't know who that is but all the same I'd like to apologize to him/her as well. Additionally I would like to apologize to Barry and the other CR's for simply failing to hear them out. I was actually pretty angry, mainly about what what happened but also just generally pissed that it all came down on me. Now I know Paul has made his peace with me and well the others from the weekend I probably won't ever change their opinion but what comes next for me is the mystery.
How does one come back in face of all this and do it right? I mean I'm a Marine, I've dealt with fear and overcome obsticles but what I don't want is for this to junk up my brain to the point I can't enjoy the experience. We pay hard earned money to do these track days and to have the machines we do. While I know I cant make it all right in a forum what exactly makes the proper entrance upon having this type of incident? I mean I was one of many red flags and even violators during the day. Do I show up and go straight to the NESBA trailer and get the violator t shirt? I mean honestly I just want to get back out there an ride under the rules and get the kind of experience I had before this happened. What I'm getting at here is I made the mistake, I've paid some dues but what of coming back and how does this get handled. I'm certain I ask this question for myself but thought perhaps there is someone else who's had a similar issue and chose not to. I'd rather just ask.. Where do I go from here?
If the answer is a PM I understand but the premise for asking is to better air and understand the way with this sorta thing should be dealt with.
So NESBA what comes next? :haha: :doh: